Friday, March 05, 2021

I WAS CHARGED WITH MURDER

 

I was charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper. However, I was found Not Guilty in court because I explained that I only intended to rough him up a bit. (Thanks Tony)




Today's Quotes:: “In times of pain, when the future is too terrifying to contemplate and the past too painful to remember, I have learned to pay attention to right now. The precise moment I was in was always the only safe place for me.”
“As you move toward a dream, the dream moves toward you.”
“Life is a spiritual dance and that our unseen partner has steps to teach us if we will allow ourselves to be led. The next time you are restless, remind yourself it is the universe asking 'Shall we dance?'”
“The voice of our original self is often muffled, overwhelmed, even strangled, by the voices of other people’s expectations.”
“Creativity requires faith. Faith requires that we relinquish control.”
"When we open ourselves to exploring our creativity, we open ourselves to God: good orderly direction."

― Julia Cameron
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From The Garden

Have A Great Day... J.T.

WISDOM WISDOM JOKES JOKES WISDOM JOKES





Thursday, March 04, 2021

WISDOM AND THE WEST (But WHERE IN THE WEST)

WISDOM WISDOM WISDOM WISDOM WISDOM WISDOM WISDOM WISDOM

Dolly Parton PSA: Don't Be A Chicken Squat, Get Out There And Get Your Shot


Today's Quotes:::: "Nothing is more dangerous than an idea when it's the only one you've got."

"When I was a young man I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal woman. Well, I found her but, alas, she was waiting for the ideal man."
"There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them."
"One must be truthful with oneself about one's own motives, especially if one is to survive in the world. It takes rigor, and it takes courage."
"There is a future that makes itself and a future we make. The real future is composed of both."
-Emile-Auguste Chartier

 










































Wednesday, March 03, 2021

A Woman's Poem

 WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES WISDOM



Today's Quotes::: “Map out your future, but do it in pencil.”

“You can't win 'til you're not afraid to lose.”
“It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life.”
“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time--- you may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be.”
“If you could see yourself the way that others do, you'd wish you were as beautiful as you.”
― Jon Bon Jovi























































Monday, March 01, 2021

Highway To Hell

 



Today's Quotes:::  “Events are temporary. Bad things happen, but usually we do not feel their effects on us forever. It’s really true that time heals wounds. Your disappointments are important and serious, but your distress will pass and your life will take you in new directions. Give yourself some time.”

“Sometimes days fly by without anything standing out in your mind, without any tangible improvement. Every day make sure, no matter how small the effort, that you do something to make your dreams come true.”
“Have a purpose. Without a purpose nothing matters.”
"I see my purpose in life as making the world a happier place to be in."
"Dreams don't have an expiration date."
“You have not finished the best part of your life.”
― David Niven
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Old ranch owner John farmed a small ranch in Montana. The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him.
“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.
“Well,” replied old John, “There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90 percent of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.”
“That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” says the agent.
“That would be me,” replied old rancher John.



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HAVE A GREAT DAY J.T.





Sunday, February 28, 2021

“If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.”

WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES WISDOM 

WISDOM






















While waiting for her first appointment with her new dentist, Jane notices his degree certificate on the wall, which includes his first name. Suddenly she remembers a tall, handsome boy from her High School class some 45 years ago who had exactly the same name. Naturally she wonders whether this can be the same guy. However upon seeing him, she quickly dismisses any such thought. Surely this aging, balding, grey-haired old man with a deeply lined face could not possibly be one of her old High School classmates? After he had finished examining her teeth, Jane decides to ask him whether he attended the local high school. “Yes,” he replied. “That’s amazing. What year did you graduate then?” Jane asks. “In 1973,” he responds. “Amazing, you were in my class! Jane exclaims. He looks at her closely and then asks, “What subject did you teach?”

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Today's Quotes:: “Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal - a commitment to excellence - that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”

“A goal isn’t something you just arrive at and stop. You have to stay curious and hungry and foolish.”
“Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays, but never lose sight of your goal. Prepare yourself in every way you can by increasing your knowledge and adding to your experience, so that you can make the most of opportunity when it occurs.”
“The crashes people remember, but drivers remember the near misses.”
“If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.”
- Mario Andretti





My Wife Linda is Sooooo
Smart.. Have A Great Day J.T






WILL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS
"I'll Stretch It a Little"
by Anonymous
The wintry blast was fierce and cold,
And the lassie's coat was thin and old.
Her little brother by her side
Shivered and pitifully cried.
"Come underneath my coat," said she,
"And see how snug and warm you'll be."
The brother answered, nothing loth,
"But is it big enough for both?"
"Yes," said the girl, with cheery wit;
"I'll stretch it out a little bit."
Ah, brothers, sisters, where the mind
Is bent upon an action kind,
What though the means are sparely spun,
And hardly seem to serve for one?
Stretch them with love, and straightway you
Will find them amply wide for two!
Artist Léon Bazille Perrault


WALK THE WALK! DON'T JUST TALK THE TALK!

via GIPHY

 


WALK THE WALK! DON'T JUST TALK THE TALK!
One night a sponsor got a call from one of his sponsees. The sponsee complained the same old complaints of being restless, irritable and discontent. The sponsor asked him if he was reading his Big Book and the sponsee said that he was reading it daily and that it wasn't helping! The sponsor then instructed his new friend to find a cookbook. He came back to the phone with the cookbook and was instructed to read the recipe for chocolate cake. So he read to him all the ingredients, how hot the oven was to be and when he was through his sponsor told him to read it again. By now the sponsee is a little upset and asks what this has to do with staying sober, with a laugh, his sponsor told him to humor him! So he read it again, all the ingredients, oven temperature, and after he had read it to him the second time, the sponsor asked him for a piece of cake. The sponsee told him he could not give him any cake and the sponsor asked him why? "Because, I haven't gone through the action of making the cake." With a laugh, the sponsor told his sponsee that that was why he wasn't getting any results from reading the Big Book! Reading the book alone will not keep you sober, but, the action of following the directions in it will!
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Back on January 4th, a group of Ocala Florida bikers were riding east on Hwy.40 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Blackwater Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering tongue swapping kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
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HAVE
A
GREAT
DAY

Friday, February 26, 2021

Tear Jerker Up Next::

 



In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her peace.

When she was done, one of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has?"

Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots, sir, and count them yourself."

Today's Quotes


“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent”
“To put everything in balance is good, to put everything in harmony is better.”
“Not being heard is no reason for silence.”
“No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.”
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”
“To love another person is to see the face of God.”
“People do not lack strength, they lack will.”
― Victor Hugo
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Tear Jerker Up Next::

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"
DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"
SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "That's really none of your business. Why do you ask?"
SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"
DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."
SON: "Oh. (With his head down).
SON: "Daddy, can I please borrow $50?"
DAD: "REALLY?! If you're asking to borrow money for some silly toy or game, you can just march yourself straight to your room to think about why you're being so selfish. I work hard everyday to provide for this family, and this is the thanks I get?"
The little boy went quietly to his room and shut the door.
The dad sat down and started getting even angrier about his son's questions. "How dare he ask question like that just to get some money?" he stewed.
After an hour, the dad calmed down, and started to think: "Maybe there was something he really needed the $50 for? He doesn't ask for money often..."
So, the dad went to his son's door and opened it.
DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"
SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".
DAD: "I've been thinking, and maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"
Then, reaching under his pillow, the boy pulled out some crumpled-up dollar bills. When the dad saw the boy already had money, he started getting angry again as the little boy slowly counted out his money and looked up at his father.
DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"
SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do. Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and begged for his forgiveness through a stream of tears.
Just a reminder to all who are work so hard in life to not let time slip through our fingers without dedicating special time with those who matter most.
If we die tomorrow, the company we may work for could replace us in a matter of days.... but, loved ones we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives, having only precious memories to hold.


























HAVE A GREAT DAY...J.T.




Thursday, February 25, 2021

"Forgive everybody everything everyday."

 



Today's Quotes:: "Of all tasks of government the most basic is to protect its citizens against violence."

"A peaceful world is a world in which differences are tolerated, and are not eliminated by violence."
"A capacity to change is indispensable. Equally indispensable is the capacity to hold fast to that which is good."
“The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.”
“A man's accomplishments in life are the cumulative effect of his attention to detail.”
"Forgive everybody everything everyday."
― John Foster Dulles
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The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four.”
“What comes after six?”
“Seven.”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers Johnny.
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The Tent in the first photo is the one they lost... 

  Have A Great Day J.T.

















Job Search::

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory 

      but I got canned Couldn't  concentrate.  

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,  

 but just couldn't hack itso they gave me the axe


3. 
After that, I tried being a Tailor,  

 but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.