Why Potty Training Is Like A Ketchup Bottle..... When To Talk.... MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL... Buffalo Bill Center Of The West

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every ten seconds or so he puts the book down, grips on to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says, “Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while…”

Billy says, “I'm fine, Mommy…i just haven't gone 'doodoo' yet."

Mother says, “ Okay, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?"

Billy says, “ Works for ketchup."

What do you get when you mix poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A: A rash of good luck.

My son is the manager of a glass and window company and advertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who called about the job said he had over 20 years of experience. "Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked. the man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts."

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

Today's Quotes:::“I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.”

“I am not sure that I exist, actually. I am all the writers that I have read, all the people that I have met, all the women that I have loved; all the cities I have visited.”

“Let others pride themselves about how many pages they have written; I'd rather boast about the ones I've read.”

“The mind was dreaming. The world was its dream.”

“So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.”

“Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.”

“Life itself is a quotation.”

― Jorge Luis Borges

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL...

Have A Great Day... If you are ever in the area the Buffalo Bill Center Of The West Is A Must See....

The Rugged Grandfather Mountain... MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL... Don't Be Offended Just Jokes... Dad She's Pregnant... & Much More.....

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

A father passing by his son's bedroom

Noticed the room unusually clean and saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that mari*juana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Josh

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

Today's Quotes:::: “All modern men are descended from wormlike creatures, but it shows more on some people.”

"A few cobras in your home will soon clear it of rats and mice. Of course, you will still have the cobras."

“If an animal does something, we call it instinct. If we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence.”

“A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself.”

“You can't do much for the poor, as they are not in with the right people.”

“Etiquette, or dog in the original Coptic, means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential."

― Will Cuppy.. He wrote " How to Tell Your Friends from the Apes " I may have to read this one though I doubt I would learn anything...LOL

AND THERE IS MORE::::::

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

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Linda and I recently went camping and our neighbor had this outfit.  Pretty Neat I thought...

As Always Have A Great Day.....

Joe Todd....

Downtown Art District of Asheville in western North Carolina’s Blue Ridge Mountains. Rib's & Condoms.... Possession... BREAD THAT TASTES LIKE KLEENEX.. wHAT mORE cOULD yOU wANT

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

Today's Quote's ::: “Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.”

“A party without cake is just a meeting.”

“The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.”

“You'll never know everything about anything, especially something you love.”

“How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like Kleenex?”

“Nothing is too much trouble if it turns out the way it should.”

“Life itself is the proper binge.”

― Julia Child

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES & #TRAVEL

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Joe Todd & Linda reporting from  the Downtown Art District of  Asheville  in western North Carolina’s Blue Ridge Mountains. As Always Have A Great Day & Get busy living or get busy dying.