Wednesday Golf Jokes…

Don’t Pee In My Flowers or else…..

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them.

 Thanks for telling me, officer. "Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden.

It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know Then I thought, why not make the best of it?" "So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.

Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes."

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!"

"Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

“Not everybody pays."………………..

Have a “Quality Time Day.”

Technorati Tags: GOLF,#GOLF,JOKES,#JOKES,FUNNY,LAUGH

Borrowed the joke from somewhere…..THANKS………..

Tuesday: Adventure Of A Lifetime or not

Adventure comes in many forms……

Clinging on to past and living is like driving forward while watching the rear view mirror...

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.
"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocaine because I'm in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."

Q: What happened when the man crashed his car into the tree?

A: He saw how his Mercedes bends.

A fire started on some grassland near a farm. The county fire department was called to put out the fire. The fire was more than the county fire department could handle. Someone suggested that a nearby volunteer bunch be called.
Despite some doubt that the volunteer outfit would be of any assistance, the call was made.
The volunteers arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They rumbled straight towards the fire, drove right into the middle of the flames and stopped! The firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controlled parts.
Watching all this, the farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and was so grateful that his farm had been spared, that right there on the spot he presented the volunteers with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.
'That ought to be obvious,' he responded, wiping ashes off his coat. 'The first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on our fire truck!'

What did the cowboy say when his dog left?

Doggone!

She is on her way to:::::::

Thanks for stopping by and have a great day……………..

Technorati Tags: OLD WEST,JOKES,ADVENTURE

The Outhouse from the Jokester himself…..

A “Quality Time” joke just for you

There was once a country boy who hated using the outhouse because it was hot in the summer and freezing in the winter...plus it stank all the time. The outhouse was situated on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. So one day after a spring rain the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. He got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the barn after supper. Knowing this meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree."

Aunt Linda & Aunt Sarah thought this was real funny and decided they wanted to go to Wall Drug..So next stop:: Wall Drug.

  Have a great day. I really did enjoy tipping the old outhouse over….

Technorati Tags: QUALITY TIME OUTHOUSE,JOKE,WANDERING

The Circle Of Sacred Smoke..Devils Tower National Monument

What we need in this country is a Peaceful Insurrection.

“The Western obsession with productivity and accumulation of wealth has led the world into a crisis.

“To come out of it, we need a radical departure from this constant rush forward—the constant quest for more and better—that we’ve been carry out not only in the financial,but also in the realms of science and technology.”

”It is high time that integrity,justice,and sustainable development be allow to prevail.”

“There are grave issues. Our adventure on Earth is imperiled, and should man persist in making the planet uninhabitable it will come to an end.”

White Buffalo Calf Woman

“The traditional story is that, long ago, there was a time of famine. The chief of the Lakota sent out two scouts to hunt for food. While the young men travelled they saw a figure in the distance and as they approached, they saw that it was a beautiful young Indian woman in white buck skin. She had dark hair, skin and eyes. One of the men was filled with lust for the woman. He approached her, telling his companion he would attempt to claim her as a wife. His companion warned him that she appeared to be a sacred woman, and to do anything sacrilegious would be dangerous and disrespectful. The man ignored the other's advice. The second man watched as the first approached and embraced the woman, during which time a white cloud enveloped the pair. When the cloud disappeared, only the mysterious woman and a pile of bones remained. The bones were the remains of the man. The remaining man was frightened, and began to draw his bow, but the holy woman beckoned him forward, telling him that no harm would come to him as she could see into his heart and he did not have the motives the first man had. As the woman spoke Lakota, the young man decided she was one of his people, and came forward. At this time, the woman explained that she was wakȟáŋ (holy, having spiritual and supernatural powers). She further explained that if he did as she instructed, his people would rise again. The scout promised to do what she instructed, and was told to return to his encampment, call the Council and prepare a feast for her arrival. She taught the Lakota seven sacred ceremonies and gave them the čhaŋnúŋpa, the sacred ceremonial pipe. After teaching the people and giving them her gifts, Ptesáŋwiŋ left them, promising that one day she would return.”

Joe Todd and Linda touching the wall of Devils Tower. This is a Sacred Site to American Indians and maybe it should be for all. Have a “Quality Time” day………

Technorati Tags: THE CIRCLE OF SACRED SMOKE,DEVILS TOWER,NATIONAL MONUMENT,WESTERN U.S.A.,Sacred