A Little Amish and A Couple Jokes

 

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. “This is so embarrassing,” the woman says as she pops her eye back into place. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?” The man nods. The woman is an excellent conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her number and asks, “You are the most charming woman I’ve ever met. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?” “No,” she said. “You just happened to catch my eye.”

Hope Your A Little Hungry Now LOL

That's All Folks... Joe Todd 

Where Covid 19 Really Came From

 

"Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected."

"When articulation is impossible, gesticulation comes to the rescue."

"A dependent clause is like a dependent child: incapable of standing on its own but able to cause a lot of trouble."

"A man who lies, thinking it is the truth, is an honest man, and a man who tells the truth, believing it to be a lie, is a liar."

“Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don't know and I don't care.”

“The right to do something does not mean that doing it is right.”

"Last, but not least, avoid clichés like the plague."

― William Safire

That's All Folks   Joe Todd

The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner & MORE.

 

Here are 12 things to consider as we get closer to closing the door on one of the most horrible years of our lifetime.

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.

3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.

6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!

9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!

10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.

Enjoy The Snow LOL.........................Joe Todd 

PEE ON THE ELECTRIC FENCE THEY SAID

 As I went walking that ribbon of highway

I saw above me that endless skyway
Saw below me that golden valley
This land was made for you and me

I roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
All around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me

~ Woody Guthrie

Hope Everyone Has A Great Day

A Bad Joke a Thought & some Random Photos

Two female teachers took a group of students from grades 1, 2 and 3 for a field trip to Flemington Racecourse. When it was time to take the children to the 'bathroom', it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the little boys with their pants and began hoisting them up one by one, holding on to their 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes and shake them dry. As she lifted one boy up, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring at his equipment the teacher said, 'You must be in Grade 3?' 'No ma'am', he replied. 'I'm riding Black Caviar in the next race, but I really appreciate your help.’

I want to think again of dangerous and noble things. I want to be light and frolicsome. I want to be improbable beautiful and afraid of nothing, as though I had wings. ~ Mary Oliver ...................................................................... Have a good one & Best of luck to President Elect Biden Joe Todd

Hi There Beautiful

Heal Yourself & Some Random Photos

Advice from María Sabina, Mexican healer and poet - “Heal yourself with the light of the sun and the rays of the moon. With the sound of the river and the waterfall. With the swaying of the sea and the fluttering of birds. Heal yourself with mint, neem, and eucalyptus. Sweeten with lavender, rosemary, and chamomile. Hug yourself with the cocoa bean and a hint of cinnamon. Put love in tea instead of sugar and drink it looking at the stars. Heal yourself with the kisses that the wind gives you and the hugs of the rain. Stand strong with your bare feet on the ground and with everything that comes from it. Be smarter every day by listening to your intuition, looking at the world with your forehead. Jump, dance, sing, so that you live happier. Heal yourself, with beautiful love, and always remember ... you are the medicine.”

Have a great day::: Joe Todd