JOKES & WISDOM

 

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client. "Alan, I have some good news and, I have some bad news." 
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first." The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right." Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?" The lawyer replied, : "The pictures are of you with your Secretary.............

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That's all folks.. Have A Great Day...

Grandpa's Wisdom & Favorite Things

 

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, 
These are a few of my favorite things. When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, 
Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,These are a few of my favorite things. Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinning, Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinning, And we won't mention our short shrunken frames, When we remember our favorite things. When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim, Then I remember the great life I've had…………………………………….

Mount Pleasant... Lancaster, Ohio....Nice little hike. Have a great day... J.T.

Just Bernie & What John F. Kennedy Has To Say About It

 

It Is A Great Day

 

During a prank..Don't compromise yourself..HUMP DAY

 

 

During a prank, a student stuck a paper on his classmate's back that said "𝗜'𝗺 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱", and asked the rest of the class not to tell the boy.

Thus the students began laughing on and off...

Came afternoon math class started and their teacher wrote a difficult question on the board.

No one was able to answer it except the boy with the sticker.

Amid the unexplained giggles, he walked toward the board and solved the problem.

The teacher asked the class to clap for him and remove the paper on his back.

She told him: "It seems that you don’t know about the paper your classmate has pasted on your back."

Then the teacher looked at the rest of the class and said:

"Before I give you a punishment, let me tell you 2 things:

First, throughout your Life, people will put labels on you with many nasty words to stop your progress.

Had your classmate known about the paper, he wouldn't have gotten up to answer the question.

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝗻 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻, 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳."

"Second, it’s clear that he doesn't have any loyal friend among you all to tell him about the sticker.

It doesn't matter how many friends you have - it is the loyalty you share with your friends that matters.

𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝘂𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲."

Choose your friends wisely!

TIME TO GET SERIOUS................................

“Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got.”

“You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.”

“On stage, I make love to 25,000 different people, then I go home alone.”

"To be true to myself, to be the person that was on the inside of me, and not play games. That's what I'm trying to do mostly in the whole world, is not bullshit myself and not bullshit anybody else."

"The more you live, the less you die."

"It's not what isn't, it's what you wish was that makes unhappiness."

"I think I think too much. That's why I drink!"

― Janis Joplin

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COME BACKS TO " I'M JUST SAYING " ...HOW TO COOK SHRIMP & A JOKE

 

COME BACKS

Empowering comebacks to: “I’m just saying:”

·                     “I know – and I’m ‘just responding’ to what feels like an insult.”

·                     “I know – but the fact that you are ‘just saying’ something offensive doesn’t make it less offensive.”

·                     “I know – and what you’re ‘just saying’ is offensive Hey, I’m just saying.”

·                     “I know – and I’m not sure you recognize that what you’re ‘just saying’ comes across as critical, hurts my feelings, is insulting, etc.”

·                     “I’ve thought this through and I’m comfortable with what I’m doing. I’m not seeking input on this.”

·                     “Thanks for your input, I’ll take it under advisement.”

·                     “Thanks for your input. I’ll let you know if I need any additional opinions on this.”

Don't Fall Off The Track. Have A Great Day.. J.T.