MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES..AND.. SHRIMP & GRITS INSTRUCKSHUNS

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

This old lady handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw $10”. The teller told her “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM.

The old lady wanted to know why... The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you”.

The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “please help me withdraw all the money I have.” The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “you have $300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?

The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to $3000. “Well please let me have $3000 now.” The teller kindly handed $3000 very friendly and with a smile to her.

The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.

The moral of this story is....

Don’t be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skill.

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WE WERE SUPPOSE TO BE GETTING FIREWOOD FOR CAMP SPRING 1994....

A Little Bit of everything. Hope you have a great day...

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

I've Gone Wireless & MORE... MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

Today's Quotes::: "As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!”

“The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – it’s all that matters.”

"Beauty is being the best possible version of yourself, inside and out."

"There are more important things than outward appearance. No amount of makeup can cover an ugly personality."

"Never regret anything that makes you smile."

- Audrey Hepburn

EYE HOPE YOU LEAVE A COMMENT  J.T.

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

Thoughts Concerning God by Einstein and Spinoza... MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

Today's Quotes::: "The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in."

"One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself."

"When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it."

“Probably no man ever had a friend that he did not dislike a little."

"The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep."

"An honest answer is the sign of true friendship."

"We must be truthful and fair in the ordinary affairs of life before we can be truthful and fair in patriotism and religion."

― E.W. Howe

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When Einstein gave lectures at U.S. universities, the recurring question that students asked him most was:

- Do you believe in God?

And he always answered:

- I believe in the God of Spinoza.

Baruch de Spinoza was a Dutch philosopher considered one of the great rationalists of 17th century philosophy, along with Descartes.

(Spinoza) : God would say:

Stop praying.

What I want you to do is go out into the world and enjoy your life. I want you to sing, have fun and enjoy everything I've made for you.

Stop going into those dark, cold temples that you built yourself and saying they are my house. My house is in the mountains, in the woods, rivers, lakes, beaches. That's where I live and there I express my love for you.

Stop blaming me for your miserable life; I never told you there was anything wrong with you or that you were a sinner, or that your sexuality was a bad thing. Sex is a gift I have given you and with which you can express your love, your ecstasy, your joy. So don't blame me for everything they made you believe.

Stop reading alleged sacred scriptures that have nothing to do with me. If you can't read me in a sunrise, in a landscape, in the look of your friends, in your son's eyes... ➤ you will find me in no book!

Stop asking me "will you tell me how to do my job?" Stop being so scared of me. I do not judge you or criticize you, nor get angry, or bothered. I am pure love.

Stop asking for forgiveness, there's nothing to forgive. If I made you... I filled you with passions, limitations, pleasures, feelings, needs, inconsistencies... free will. How can I blame you if you respond to something I put in you? How can I punish you for being the way you are, if I'm the one who made you? Do you think I could create a place to burn all my children who behave badly for the rest of eternity? What kind of god would do that?

Respect your peers and don't do what you don't want for yourself. All I ask is that you pay attention in your life, that alertness is your guide.

My beloved, this life is not a test, not a step on the way, not a rehearsal, nor a prelude to paradise. This life is the only thing here and now and it is all you need.

I have set you absolutely free, no prizes or punishments, no sins or virtues, no one carries a marker, no one keeps a record.

You are absolutely free to create in your life. Heaven or hell.

I can't tell you if there's anything after this life but I can give you a tip. Live as if there is not. As if this is your only chance to enjoy, to love, to exist.

So, if there's nothing after, then you will have enjoyed the opportunity I gave you. And if there is, rest assured that I won't ask if you behaved right or wrong, I'll ask. Did you like it? Did you have fun? What did you enjoy the most? What did you learn?...

Stop believing in me; believing is assuming, guessing, imagining. I don't want you to believe in me, I want you to believe in you. I want you to feel me in you when you kiss your beloved, when you tuck in your little girl, when you caress your dog, when you bathe in the sea.

Stop praising me, what kind of egomaniac God do you think I am?

I'm bored being praised. I'm tired of being thanked. Feeling grateful? Prove it by taking care of yourself, your health, your relationships, the world. Express your joy! That's the way to praise me.

Stop complicating things and repeating as a parakeet what you've been taught about me.

What do you need more miracles for? So many explanations?

The only thing for sure is that you are here, that you are alive, that this world is full of wonders.

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Linda and I hope you have a great day.....

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

I'm Born With An Obligation to Serve..... MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES.....

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

Today's Quotes:: “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”

“We must not think of the things we could do with, but only of the things that we can't do without.”

“Life is a thing to be lived, not spent; to be faced, not ordered. Life is not a game of chess, the victory to the most knowing; it is a game of cards, one's hand by skill to be made the best of.”

“Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing.”

― Jerome K. Jerome

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Short post today. Going golfing if rain holds off. As always have a great day. Now don't sit on the line. Go ahead and leave a comment.

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows follow behind you.".. MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

 MY QUALITY TIME BLOG MY QUALITY TIME BLOG MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

When I retired, I went to the Social Security office to apply for

Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's

license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability to.

"The old tree is shook
White blossoms slowly float down
Dancers in the wind." 
-  Alexandra Kim  

"May and June.  Soft syllables, gentle names for the two best months in the garden year: cool, misty mornings gently burned away with a warming spring sun, followed by breezy afternoons and chilly nights.  The discussion of philosophy is over; it's time for work to begin." 
-  Peter Loewer  

"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows follow behind you."

Have A Great Day.. J.T.

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

“It doesn't matter if the water is cold or warm if you're going to have to wade through it anyway.” & BACK TO THE SEVENTIES

 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG MY QUALITY TIME BLOG MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES

Today's Quotes::: “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

“Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation.”

“In the final analysis, the questions of why bad things happen to good people transmutes itself into some very different questions, no longer asking why something happened, but asking how we will respond, what we intend to do now that it happened.”

“Matter is spirit moving slowly enough to be seen.”

“It doesn't matter if the water is cold or warm if you're going to have to wade through it anyway.”

“The future belongs to those who give the next generation reason for hope.”

― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

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1. Why did the teddy bear say no to the ice cream?

He was beyond stuffed.

2. What does Winnie the Pooh call his girlfriend?

Hunny.

3. What’s a teddy bear’s favorite type of pie?

Blue-bear-y.

4. What’s the best way to say sorry to a teddy bear?

To bear your heart and soul.

5. Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?

The Bear Witch Project.

6. What do you get when you cross a teddy bear with a skunk?

Winnie the P.U.!

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Linda & I hope you have a GREAT DAY... 

MY QUALITY TIME BLOG MY QUALITY TIME BLOG MY QUALITY TIME BLOG #WISDOM #JOKES