Andy Dufresne: Get busy living or get busy dying. Andy Dufresne: Remember, Red, hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies. WISDOM JOKES WISDOM JOKES AT MY QUALITY TIME BLOG WISDOM JOKES
Today's Quotes:: "The only thing you're taking out of here is your spirit and your soul, so we need to be conscious to try and develop that part of ourselves, because we're all spiritual creatures."
"If you feel like loving me, if you've got the notion, I second that emotion."
"Mistakes, I know I've made a few. But I'm only human, you've made mistakes, too."
"A taste of honey is worse than none at all."
"Before you ask some girl for her hand now, keep your freedom for as long as you can now. My Mama told me, you better shop around."
"With a heart that is truthful, keeping you youthful."
"I don't ever balk at being considered a Motown person, because Motown is the greatest musical event that ever happened in the history of music."
- Smokey Robinson
Four old guys are walking down a street when they see a sign that reads Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents.
They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"
There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini.
In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That's 10 cents each, please."
The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 cents, please."
They pay 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?"
"I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, Liquor, beer it's all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.
Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men ask the Bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida. They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price.
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Tent Worms::: Tent caterpillars are readily recognized because they are social, colorful, diurnal and build conspicuous silk tents in the branches of host trees. Some species, such as the eastern tent caterpillar, Malacosoma americanum, and caterpillars of the small eggar moth, Eriogaster lanestris, build a single large tent which is typically occupied through the whole of the larval stage, while others build a series of small tents that are sequentially abandoned. Whereas tent caterpillars make their tents in the nodes and branches of a tree's limbs, fall webworms enclose leaves and small branches at the ends of the limbs.
MATSUO BASHO
The spring haze. The scent already in the air. The moon and ume.
“Thanks for all” Expressing my gratitude to blossoms At the parting.
Before he died, Billy Graham was returning to Charlotte after a speaking engagement and when his plane arrived there was a limousine waiting to transport him to his home. As he prepared to get into the limo, he stopped and spoke to the driver .
"You know," he said, "I am 87 years old and I have never driven a limousine. Would you mind if I drove it for a while?"
The driver said, "No problem. Be my guest!" Billy gets into the driver's seat and they head off down the highway. A short distance away sat a rookie State Trooper operating his first speed trap.
The long black limo went by him doing 70 in a 55 mph zone. The trooper pulled out and easily caught the limo and he got out of his patrol car to begin the procedure.
The young trooper walked up to the driver's door and when the glass was rolled down, he was surprised to see who was driving.
He immediately excused himself and went back to his car and called his supervisor. He told the supervisor, "I know we are supposed to enforce the law, but I also know that important people are given certain courtesies. I need to know what I should do because I have stopped a very important person."
The supervisor asked, "Is it the governor?" The young trooper said, "No, he's more important than that." The supervisor said, "Oh, so it's the president." The young trooper said, "No, he's even more important than that."
The supervisor finally asked, "Well then, who is it?"
The young trooper said, "I think it's Jesus, because he's got Billy Graham for a chauffeur!"
Today is brought to you by "Level Three Snow Emergency"
Shortly after takeoff on an evening flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, I am so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. We have 103 passengers on board, but only received 40 dinner meals. I apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.” When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued. “Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free and unlimited drinks for the duration of the 10-hour flight.” Her next announcement came 2 hours later. “If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 meals available.”
A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter.
"This baked ham is really delicious," the priest teased the rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonderful food should be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Frobisher's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?"
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, "At your wedding."
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A rabbi, priest, and a minister are out fishing in a boat on a big lake when the priest realizes that he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting to disturb the fishing of the others in the boat by having them take him to shore, he gets out of the boat and walks across the water to do his business and then returns to the boat. A little while later the minister has to go also and he does the same. He walks across the water, does his business and returns across the water to the boat. Finally, the rabbi feels the urge to go to the bathroom too, so he climbs out of the boat. But instead of walking across the water, he falls into the water and starts to wildly splash around. The priest and the minister finally drag the rabbi back into the boat and the priest turns to the minister and says, "Maybe we should have told him where the rocks were."
In Jerusalem, a journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. “Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?” “For about 50 years.” Said the old man. “50 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?” “Well, I pray for peace. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up wise, in safety and friendship.” “How do you feel after doing this for 50 years?” “Like I’m talking to a wall!”
Today;s Quotes::::“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.”
“Life does not owe you anything, because life has already given you everything.”
“Today is plenty; right now is enough. Tomorrow will come in good time. Until it does, live the depth of now.”
“Stop needing and start having. Stop wanting and start being.”
“Every positive thing in your life represents a single unique blessing. Every negative thing in your life has the opportunity to become a double blessing. For when you turn a negative into a positive, you gain twice. You are no longer burdened with the negative situation, and in addition to that you are strengthened by a new positive force.”