Funny Monday::Tee Time Golf..a quality time problem

 #9 count down to 500th blog post…….amazing….

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
"I'm dying here and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly."No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

 A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson,"You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."

 The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side. She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

 A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees.He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing.The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?

 Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man.The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?""Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?""Yes, yes, I did."The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?""I don't know.......five, six, maybe seven times.......just put me down for a five."

A young man and a priest are playing together.

At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"

The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.

The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."

This photo was taken while I was standing on #17 tee box at Pumpkin Vine golf course near Bremen,Ohio.. Always have your camera ready. Have a great day.

Technorati Tags: FUNNY MONDAY,GOLF,JOKES,QUALITY TIME

1. Old Lady & The Farmer For Funny Monday.

2. Cab Driver Goes to Heaven for FUNNY MONDAY

PostCrossing Post Cards Sent 12/2012 A Quality Time Post

STATS: POST CROSSING…….

Sent: 26 postcards Received: 29 postcards

 Traveling: 8 postcards out of 8 (I’m just a beginner)

Postcrossing Blog Postcrossing Stats

The cards shown in this post were sent to:::

ARINA RUSSIA.BEATE GERMANY.KARIN NETHERLAND

MARGARET USA. MARTA UKRAINE.MIKHAIL BELARUS

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE BILTMORE ESTATE::Asheville, North Carolina, Biltmore,Flowers and Gardens A Quality Time Post

 

JOANNA POLAND & YULU from CHINA no photo

 About Postcrossing:: “The goal of this project is to allow people to receive postcards from all over the world, for free. Well, almost free! The main idea is that: if you send a postcard, you will receive one back from a random Postcrosser from somewhere in the world.”

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LINK WITH::

 Our World Tuesday
 Mosaic Monday

 Click on logo to learn more

Cab Driver Goes to Heaven for FUNNY MONDAY

FUNNY MONDAY

Cab Driver Goes to Heaven

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St.Peter checks the computer

and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.

Next in line is a preacher.

St. Peter checks the computer, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is shocked

and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"

St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

…………………………………………………………………………………

 YOU ARE… NOW HAVE A GREAT DAY

Technorati Tags: FUNNY MONDAY,QUALITY TIME

Cab Driver Goes to Heaven for FUNNY MONDAY

1. Old Lady & The Farmer For Funny Monday.

The Chickamauga Battlefield Today…&..Yesterday

Linking to FRIDAY’S FENCES

On the way to Florida (READ POST) we stopped for the night in Ringgold,Georgia. There was just enough daylight for a quick tour of The Chickamauga & Chattanooga National Park.

In 1890, Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park was the first such site created by Congress.

The Battle of Chickamauga, fought September 19–20, 1863,involved the second highest number of casualties in the war following the Battle of Gettysburg. (click on link to read Gettysburg post)

The purpose of this post is to be a quick visual “walkabout” of the area with a few facts (that I wasn’t aware of) thrown in.

In Chickamauga's torn and smoky woodlands, nothing was simple.If you are interested in the details of this very complicated battle CLICK…

The battlefield is covered with monuments and informational plaques explaining the battle:: EXAMPLE::

Many years before the Civil War battle, the Cherokee Indians, after many battles, had named the stream that runs thru the battlefield  "The River of Death" or Chickamauga.

 

During the Spanish American War, more American soldiers died during training on the Chickamauga Battlefield than during all the fighting in Cuba and the Caribbean during that four month war in 1898.

With his brigades deployed in column, Brig. Gen. Henry Clayton's was the first to hit three Federal brigades around the Brotherton Farm. They fired until their ammunition was gone.

Today the   Battlefield is home to some wild turkeys. They even have a Wild Turkey 5 Mile Run.

A great place for some jogging. As a matter of fact the The Chickamauga Battlefield Marathon, in its 33rd year, is run through the nation's oldest military park. Known as the "most family-friendly" marathon, the runner-up for "most scenic" marathon, and third for best overall marathon.

After the fighting, a Confederate soldier ominously wrote, "This...is the death-knell of the Confederacy." Sometimes you win the battle but loose the war… READ MORE

The “Soldier” below spent about eight hours in the car driving from Lancaster,Ohio (Home town of General Sherman) and then a few hours walking/driving around the battlefield.

It was time to take this “Trooper” for some chow and a good nights rest at the Ringgold Hampton Inn on Battlefield Parkway(thumbs up)……We appreciated the hospitality..

CLICK to read a little more about General Sherman and Lancaster,Ohio

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ANTIETAM BATTLEFIELD and the BURNSIDE BRIDGE POST

One more suggestion: Make sure to see the movie “LINCOLN”..Maybe one Congress isn’t all that different from another…LOL

Click on photo to watch Official Trailer…..Linking to FRIDAY’S FENCES